…but it’s not easy to find.

Of course he does. Wouldn’t you? I’m mean, I’m sure that immortality has its advantages, but after just a few hundred years it’s got to become a little difficult to keep it all straight. How many wives do you think he’s had, over the centuries? How many children? Hell, how many pets?

The thing is, he’s too smart to keep it one place. Wouldn’t want anyone stumbling over it, you know? So he keeps it spread out. All over the world. Every library in the world contains a single page of the Comte’s diary.

You have to look for it, of course. It could be in any one of the books, on any one of the pages. I hear that a woman in New Jersey found the entry for May 14, 1931, in a battered old copy of The Cat in the Hat. They say that it gave her nightmares about a man with no skin, and too many eyes, but now she can sharpen knives by sleeping with them under her pillow.

Another guy, he found an entry for August 9, 1987, on page 97 of The Joy of Cooking. The orignal edition, not the revised one. I don’t think that it did him any good; he killed himself a few days later. It’s a nasty way to die, drinking bleach.