Not sure where to put this — so I’ll submit it here.

My GM found this on rpg.net. Not bad at all.

Bradford Walker:

D&D is the first girl I loved, the one that had to get fixed because she could
never get things right. Finally I had to give it up or I’d die of compassion
fatigue. Years later, she returns especially for me and she’s become the woman
(almost) that I always knew that she could be. It’s everything that it should’ve
been, and I’m also encouraged to share the love with all of her girlfriends. I’m
the happiest man alive.

Chad Underkoffler:

I guess I’m the only one here who’s dated Unknown Armies?

She’s twisted, literate, exciting, and stylish. She can get a little dark and
depressing sometimes, but that come mostly from how you treat her.

Sleeper:

No she’s not.

She’s a freak.

When her last-next boyfriend kicked her out you found her sleeping on a street
grate with her arms wrapped around a dog that died in the middle of the night
and when you woke up at 5:00 the next morning with something gnawing on your arm
you had to peel your back off the sheet where the blood congealed in the
scratches so you could smack her hard enough to stop the incoherent babbling.

The next morning you turned all red and stammered when she screamed and hollered
and yelled at nice Mr. Smith across the street about what the hell his problem
was and then when you went in and sat down she spent 90 minutes ignoring the
hell out you and arguing with that bearded Marxist about the meaning of the eye
on the back of the dollar bill with this intense glow in her eyes that you
wished she would turn on you.

And then that night she threw out all your clothes and burned them and stole
your computer and sold it for enough money to buy 333 little collectible angels
and then you broken them all in sequence during the kind of blistering sex that
you don’t feel comfortable talking about because, well, it’s not that you’re
really all that insecure about your sexuality but there are just some things
that well, kind of, you don’t really want other people to know about….

And even your best friend gets skittish when she’s around because he remembers
the time when she pulled out a big fucking gun and pointed it at your head and
then pulled it back and licked the barrel and pointed it at you again and
started talking about ending it all and then the gun went off and burned a
furrow through your stash and that’s what made her cry.

When you took her to your parents house your Dad couldn’t stop staring at the
see-thru top she decided to wear under her jacket, but your Mom didn’t throw her
out until she pierced her tongue in the bathroom and then spit blood into the
brand new porcelain teacup, and she sulked all the way home but you didn’t break
up for another three weeks.

And now she’s here in your office and it takes three big cops to hold her
squirming body down because she pulled out a big pair of scissors and started
threatening that cute blonde down in Marketing you took to lunch last week and
the detective is telling you she’s been stalking you for two weeks and you know
what? You’re going to take her back.