An urban legend that is just steps away from making some stupid schmo rich… all you gotta do is play the numbers.

You ever tried that thing with Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz? Where you start the album with the roar of the tiger? Tiger? lion, whatever? have you ever tried it? Freaky huh? I got another one for you, though this one is way cooler.

Get a copy of JFK?s assassination. Not just any copy but ABC?s footage- I looked it up on the .net and the local affiliate is WFAA. Go find their stuff. Watch the tape, but don?t watch it for the same shit other people all watch it for. See, there are some weird things going on with that tape- I don?t know exactly why, all I know is that it works.

So here is what you do. Figure out numerically what day it is by adding up all the days prior to that one together. Thus, you will have a number that ranges from 1 to 365. Unless it is a leap year, yeah I know that. So now that you know numerically what day it is. Take that number and remember it.

Now watch the tape right from the very first frame. Each half-second of the tape equals an ascending number. So 10 seconds into the film you have the number 20. Go through the film until the ascending number from the tape equals the day-number you got earlier. At the point in the film where the two numbers equal perfectly freeze the tape. This is your golden frame.

Count all the people in that frame. Spectators, Secret Service, Jackie-O, whoever. Just total them all up. The number you come up with from counting all those people is the same number you will get for the upcoming Texas lottery. No joke. Now, it is not the exact lottery number of course, seeing as the lottery is actually a series of 6 numbers. Also, if it was the same frickin? number everyone would be winning that lottery left and right, y?know?

What you have with that number from the tape is the number you will get if you total up all 6 winning numbers from the upcoming lottery. Sweet, huh? So all you gotta do now is divide the right numbers into your total. So, here is what you do. The first number you divide by the number of cops you see in the screen. The second number you divide by the number of shots you have heard up until that point, but if you have not heard any yet, just divide by 23. Add 5 to that number. The third number you divide by the number of men you see with hats on. The fourth number you divide by the number of wheels you can see. You know, wheels? Like on cars or baby buggies? The fifth number you divide by 12 if Kennedy is still alive, or by 13 if he is dead. Add 2 to that number if it is an even numbered day or 6 if it is odd.

The sixth number is a bit tricky, as I haven?t figured out what number to divide by yet. So, right now I am just buying 50 lottery tickets each time with every possible number filling in that spot. Way I figure it; I have all the other numbers right so a little investment of 50 bucks is a small price to pay for a fortune.

Oh, round down. Yeah, I know I sound like a math teacher. Fine by me, you?ll stop cracking jokes once you see that this is as serious as a heart attack.

So, why am I not rich yet? Problem is that fifth number. I keep dividing just like I should, but I keep coming up with numbers that indicate I should only divide by 2 or occasionally by 7. Not all the time mind you, just usually during the full moon. Funny that? I?ll figure it out though? then I?ll be rich.