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EXECUTIVE MANAGEMENT AND MOTIVATION

A yuppie self-motivation cult with knives.

EXECUTIVE MANAGEMENT AND MOTIVATION TRAINING RESORT

Patrick Scholl is a successful business motivational speaker and his San Diego based resort, EMAM, is the secret reference looked for by the top businesses everywhere.

History
EMAM is a multimillion-dollar enterprise, seemingly no different from other self-help organisations, except for Pat Scholl. Pat Scholl had a long and strange tuition, he studied for over eleven years with no major direction other than the liberal arts. After dawdling about with philosophy, psychology, statistics, anthropology, sociology, comparative religion, poetry and a host of other hippie subjects, he suddenly straightened up and aced a business degree.

After working, successfully for a few years, he suddenly resigned from a promising career. He double mortgaged his house, loaned money from friends, and started his business, a motivational consultation firm. In two years he paid off his debts, moved to San Diego and bought a ranch, renamed Holy Oaks, with cash and renamed his business Executive Management and Motivation or EMAM. Within five years his training resort has earned him much more.

The Secrets
Pat Scholl is thirty-four now and is well aware of what he is doing. Scholl realised, while studying, that business professionals and big corporations are urbanised versions of old priest-king religions. Yuppies are the elite priesthood of the Capitalist Kingdom. Each corporation is a fragmented and abstracted version of the city-states. The CEOs of different companies are the temporary kings worshipped as demigods, divine beings in human form. Worshipped by stock holders how offer up money for security or business fertility. The old predictable up-and-down seasons are now replaced by the irrational and erratic turbulence of the stock market. Scholl had one problem, trying to manage to surf the waves of chaos. His answer was magic. Although EMAM holds typical seminars for existing executives, it excels as a “finishing school” for fresh business degree holders. Those six-month courses, provide what school doesn’t; blood and guts.

After signing waivers and a host of other, bizarre, forms; the fresh student has been initiated into a cult, an elite priesthood. Then all the weird talk happens; part tuition, part therapy, part suggestion, all mystical. At the end, those that didn’t get hunted, knifed and dismembered, are ready to face the corporate world with that extra reservoir of spiritual steroids to ensure victories in the rat race. The human sacrifices continue disguised to look like an accident or mugging, and as EMAM’s students are so successful and spread through the multileveled labyrinth of multinational business, so does EMAM’s power and influence. Pat Scholl is the best in the king-making business.

Protections
Some of Scholl’s older students, are now attempting to destroy EMAM; but Scholl realises that this is like all creation-to-supplanting myths, where the children rise and take control from the earlier generation. Scholl has long since prepared for this eventuality, way back when formulating this plan in university. Scholl has corn, wheat and pig farms bought and operated by a separate business entity. It is at these farms that the powerful, ambitious and covetous priests get blooded for the last time during the midnight winter solstice. These older sacrifices replenish the “spiritual essence” EMAM’s pupils use.

EMAM is now starting to sprout affiliated offshoots. Apart from Scholl’s fingers in the wheat and pork futures, smaller satellite organisations have now cater for political science post-graduates, lawyers, and other professionals, the central tree seems to be EMAM, but its roots spread wide.

Those that rule the king makers…
The EMAM Executives Appreciation Society
The inner circle of EMAM is the EMAM Executive Appreciation Society. It is filled with the tried and tested Scholl loyalists. All are rich and any problems are most often solved with an insidious rumour, a greased palm, and statistic sorcery. These people know all about the Truth of EMAM. Along with Scholl all of them know what each other’s dirty secrets are.

UA and EMAM
What EMAM do is gives the graduate a magical charge – called Business Magic. The Graduate can flip-flop any roll as long at involves business and commerce. This is why EMAM graduates can generate swathes of cash selling dirt on the phone slouching on a lazy boy.

The EMAM cultists also have Body and Speed Stat is increased by the sum of their Soul Stat. This is to reflect their nature.

If EMAM wish to they can take the magic back, but they leave their graduates alone unless the graduates come back.

For every hundred thousand dollars their graduates make generates a minor charge and when EMAM collects ten charges they can create another graduate!

Killing a graduate with Business Magic charge gives the ten charges back to EMAM.

Killing a graduate that has generated ten minor charges generates a significant charge. A significant charge increases the commercial worth and holdings of EMAM’s Executives Appreciation Society.

More importantly it slows ageing and restores vigour.

It is believed Pat Scholl is a high powered True King whose domain is his business. It is not unusual that ex-members start channelling the True King and return to take Pat Scholl’s throne.

Rumours
A biker bar way out in the Midwest has this story of a bunch of five or so yuppies that drive their SUVs to this pig farm and – still dressed in their suits – tear, bite, kick and rip each other to pieces. Usually it’s one, maybe two that get killed. Those that do get stripped, jointed and hung up in pits filled with hogs so starving that nothing remains of the bodies.

One thought on “EXECUTIVE MANAGEMENT AND MOTIVATION

  1. strange_person says:

    Ooo… canibalistic yuppies, I’m so scared. No, I really am!

    Reply

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