Ten bits of weirdness showing off the upset stomach of reality.

WEIRD STUFF YARD SALE.

Weird stuff characters can find in cupboards, chests, glove compartments, and dead bodies, in secret nooks or not-so-secret crannies. It is intended as high weirdness window dressing and may be inspirational plothooks for GMs.

Each section consists of ten items or events. I may be posting more later. If you all wish to submit your own, do it in groups of ten.

This is kind of like the UA version of Warehouse 23 – Phillip Bell’s Pawnshop and Bail Bonds, Local No. 23.

Roll 1d10 or pick an entry

01 PLAYING CARDS
The “Monarque ‘n Jaune” playing cards published in Nigeria 1985 are good but well-played condition. Although mostly identical to Bicycle playing cards – including the florid art deco pattern – it consists of five suits and five Jokers. The extra suit is red and looks like tears or blood drops.

02 ZOMBIE TUMBLER
The Zombie is a tall glass used for exotic cocktails. This Zombie pacifies the undead if it filled with a rum-based drink. The dead will wander to the glass under it is line-of-sight and then stand stupefied in its presence. This doping effect will cease if the glass is broken.

03 CRYSTAL BOURBON
The Southern Comfort Company made uncoloured clear bourbon that was named Crystal Comfort that became moderately famous during the “clear” fad in the early nineties. This specific bottle turns water into whiskey. If the empty bottle is refilled with water and left sealed over night, it will became “clear bourbon as soon as first light hits the bottle. It can only do this once per month.

If a boozehound drinks the whiskey he gains an extra charge for every three he drinks from the bottle.

03 BOX O’ KETCHUP SACHETS
Two hundred white plastic ketchup sachets in a brown cardboard box. Although merely emblazoned with a jolly cartoon tomato, the sachets actually contain blood. All the blood is fresh and at room temperature.

Eating something with the ketchup is a Rank 4 Helplessness check. Alternatively it could be a Rank 2 Violence or a Rank 3 Self check.

04 UNMARKED AUDIOCASSETTE
A plastic audiocassette (TDK60) that contains five minutes and eleven seconds of a recorded telephone argument between an old woman, Jennifer and Henry, Jenny’s dead husband. He starts yelling at her about her ungodly weekly visits to the séance parlour. How can he go on to heaven if his wife is consorting with unchristian witches! She then breaks into tears and hangs up. The rest of the tape is white noise.

05 A DOORS CD: STONE ROAD
Listed as number 42 of a 100, Stone Road is a limited edition release from Elektra records in 1992 – twenty-one years after Morrison’s death. It has eight tracks and lasts 55 minutes. All the songs are original and have never been heard before. The last track, Crypts in Atlantis, is a ten-minute chant by Morrison with the band backing up with instruments.

If any of the surviving band members are asked, they will deny any knowledge of the album. If you like the Doors, you’ll like this album.

06 PULP DETECTIVE NOVEL: ZEPHRAIM ZEPPELIN
The novel is obviously well read and the spine is held together by masking tape. The author is Anthony Mixer and it was novel was published in 1980 by Round Circle Press. Apart from being a complete sponge off Hard Boiled Pulp Sex genre and reads like one long cliché, one of the minor characters, a stool pigeon for the gumshoe has the exact same name as one of the player’s characters.

The stool pigeon dies whimpering like a stuck pig by two pinstriped Italian Mafioso stereotypes at the end of chapter three.

06 AMERICAN COLLEGE ENGLISH DICTIONARY
It has a bright orange cover and is thick and heavy. Unless people actually scan carefully (and roll a relevant skill check) they are not going to realise anything is wrong. It has explanations for gibberish words not in existence anywhere else on earth. The etymological roots for the nonsense words are listed as Irem.

Zablai Books and Education, Mauritius published the book. Neither publication date, nor authors’ names is given.

07 WASP JAM
Bottled as one would expect in a thick glass bottle, is a jam or preserve thick and dark with obvious bits of wasp floating in it. If spooned out, the preserve syrup is a light-orange colour, but all that wasp makes it dark. It doesn’t taste bad – the best qualities of marmalade and strawberry jam with a heavier taste.

08 A CD-ROM
The unmarked disk has a single movie-player file on it. It the file is run it pops up the window to show a soundless and rather grainy, jerky black-and-white fifteen minute porno movie. It merely starts and ends without any credits. It is a typical lesbian shoot shot in a nondescript motel room apparently starring Jacqueline Kennedy and Nancy Sinatra.

09 OLD CIGAR BOX
An old, oil-stained cigar box with assorted loose nuts, bolts, screws, washers, soldering flux, and nails and a bent chunk of tinfoil that floats through air as light as smoke but requires a two-handed blow from a hammer to bend it even slightly. Rank 1 Unnatural check.

10 QUARTZ GLOBE
A bowling ball sized chunk of some translucent quartz-like semiprecious stone. When looked through at a certain angle in a certain light the stone globe shows off the skeletal fist encased inside.