The US Army wants Iraqi lamps!

People will tell you all sorts of shit about the real reason for the invasion of Iraq. But I know the truth. They have to get all the lamps.

The main target of 9/11 wasn’t the Twin Towers, that was just a huge distraction. bin Laden wanted to wipe out the Pentagon. Why? The Pentagon is a focal point of America’s occult defenses, thats why. If it was to go down, then the Northeast would have been defenseless.

Defenseless against what, you ask? Genies, of course. Do you have any idea how many lamps with potent djinn are still floating around in the Middle East? And don’t think they’re weak either, they wiped the Russkies out pretty well. People in the Middle East have been wishing for terrible things to happen to the US for years, and Israel too. They’re out there, hovering in masses out over the Atlantic Ocean, ready to strike. If they do that, it’ll make 9/11 look like a picnic, man.

So now the Pentagon wants all the lamps, in order to prevent this sort of thing. The only problem is, with all the looting, most of the damn things have disappeared. They think there might be a cache in Syria, though.

Of course, the most powerful lamp is still in very bad hands. Yeah, thats right. Alladin’s Lamp is Osama’s lamp now…