As it turns out, TV Land isn’t just a cable channel… it’s something more…

A couple of months ago, me and a friend were coming out of a club where this really rockin band was performing and well, that’s not the point, now is it. So we were out in front of the club talking about what to do for the rest of the night when we spotted it… “Mueller Media Gallery” was what it was called. So anyway, it was having a Grand Opening and we decided to go and see what it was all about, and from the moment we got inside, I started to question that very decision.

Along the walls of the entire gallery are hundreds of televisions, all with the same images and sounds, but not the same, if you get my drift. Hundreds of videos, at least I guessed they were videos, of people in agony sort of floating in some kinda vortex. And that’s not the weird part.

My friend and I got seperated and I found myself in the basement. At first glance the basement would seem to be just a bunch of junk, but then I spotted the door in the back of the room. The door was a simple wooden one with no lock and the phrase “TV Land” painted on it. I figured it was some other part of the exhibit, so I went in… and found them all. All of the people in the videos on the TVs upstairs, but different. They had been dressed in funky costumes and put in different situations… situations that seemed familiar. It suddenly had dawned on me that I was staring at something like 20 different classic TV shows being played out in repetition by all of these mindless people dressed like these characters.. I had to show my buddy, and it’s about here that things took a turn for the sinister.

So I get upstairs and can’t find my friend, so I ask this hippie looking guy sitting near the entrance. I think he said his name was Mitchell Mueller or something like that. And Mitchell told me that my friend had “volunteered” to become a new participant in his exhibit, and then he asked me If I’d be interested in participating. I said something toward the positive and we went to the basement where I saw the straw that broke the camel’s back. My friend, sitting in a chair, staring at a TV while some loser in an old Ultraman T-Shirt did some funky mojo on him. And the TV was sucking some kinda energy out of him. Not being able to handle this anymore, I knocked Mitchell out of the way and bolted for the door. I must have lost it cause I don’t remember anything else until I got home.

I’ve been doing a bunch of research since then and I’ve found out that it’s got something to do with Videomancy. Now the question isn’t why has this guy done this to all of these people, but considering how normal TV schedules work, how did a Vidiot manage that many Significant charges in so little time. I can’t answer that myself, but maybe I can find out when I go back to cancel their show, if you get my drift.