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Greetings from Portland!

Welcome to the Rose City of Oregon.
Ain’t it grand?

Finding a few extra hours to kill, and got nothing going on? Drop by the Roxy, which has a neon Jesus, a supposed fount of minor charges with every order of Super Slack Snack (cheese and fries in copious amounts of each), and a five dollar tip to ‘Heather’. She’ll fix your next drink ‘with a little something special’.

The Bitter End Pub has six different microbrews which repel astral parasites, at the expense of attracting more when you sober up. To keep those at bay, go to the Burnside bridge, and give your wallet to the first passerby, who inherits them, free of charge. The astral woogies home in on your wallet at the Bitter End, so Plutomancers, be advised.

Mechanomancers may wish to take note of the machine across from Powell’s City of Books; at midnight, noon, and at five-oh-nine each day, it’ll provide your next invention with one-less minor charge requirement, or a significant if you stand on someone shoulders when you move the swinging bell on the bottom of the apparatus. God only knows why, but it works.

The White-Haired Florist is summoning swarms of wasps to follow me around, but they aren’t attacking. I’m worried, but I’m worried more about the sudden appearance of the White Koi tribe in the Portland sewers along the Shanghai Tunnels.

Eat at Mazzi’s, and be content, my shadow tells me.

2 thoughts on “Greetings from Portland!

  1. deathmonkey says:

    i always thought that neon jesus was creepy. the restrooms at the roxy are also very creepy. and if i were a mechanomancer, i wouldn’t be caught dead pushing on the scrotum of that phallic sculpture by powell’s. there are definiatley some spooky places in ol’ p-town. also i find it very odd that all the old breweries are being torn down and swanky apartments/condos are being put in.
    by the way, where’s mazzi’s?

    Reply
  2. Mr Unlucky says:

    5833 S. W. Macadam
    503) 227-3382

    And it’s worth every penny.

    And hey-howdy, fellow Portlandite!

    BTW: wouldn’t it make you mad to know what happened on the last day of the Henry Weinhard’s brewery?

    It’s enough to make a Dipsomancer go straight, I tell you..

    Reply

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