Seems a going concern; thought I’d join up.

Stuff Recently discovered after a major-effects-filled battle between an Entropomancer cabal and a group of Annihilomancers known as ‘Gein Brigade’.

1.) Moist Towelettes: when applied to a dry surface under a clear sky, it will induce rain in approximately 5 minutes, 33 seconds. Lasts approximately nine hours.

2.) Hip Joint: a ceramic hip replacement joint, which when carried, allows the owner to flip-flop an athletic-type roll, once per day, at a cost of 1d10 Speed points, which can only be regained by throwing away, for all time, the Hip Joint.

3.) Cat Breath: a clear vial, about an inch long, containing the fish-like odor commonly associated with a cat’s breath. when released, any and all cats not currently owned will flock towards the next person to make physical contact, after it’s opening. If said target is an old lady, a Soul check with a -15% shift can be made to rid themselves of the cats, which will otherwise last for about five to six weeks.

4.) Otis: a woodaxe, two-handed grip-style, with a strange set of sigils often associated with ‘angelic scripts’. Aramaic writings adorn the blade, detailing the eternal hunt for demons possessing mortals. States a set of gauntlets-of-the-times and a tube-like object will also be needed to accomplish the banishing act. Additionally, some jackass wrote the word ‘Otis’ into it, with a heated butterknife. In all respects, it *should* just be another axe, right?

5.) Map: a scrawled barely detailed map, which smells faintly of fried chicken and gasoline. When held to the moon’s light, it lists off the names of the five most recent kidnap victims within a range of the owner’s Soul stat, in miles, along with their approximate locations and conditions.

6.) Mylar Balloon: a half-filled mylar balloon, with the handwritten message on the side “It Will Be Significant” in blue nailpolish, can be inhaled from, permitting the owner to float to a foot in elevation per second of inhaled fumes. Essentially, for each second spent holding one’s breath, one can move upwards one foot. Doesn’t offer any landing, and likewise, forces the user to speak in a high-pitched, upsettingly squeaky voice for an equivalent number of minutes.

7.) Trunk Monkey: a stuffed gorilla, bearing a t-shirt, reading ‘I Live There’, and a disturbingly accurate picture of the current possessor’s car’s trunk. As such, an eight-hundred pound gorilla takes up residence, with the expressed intent to thoroughly pound the snot out of the next person to check the trunk. The possessor immediately learns this fact when holding the stuffed gorilla. Doesn’t make it suck less if he’s left something important in there.

8.) Bob the Unbuilder: a Lego-styled construction worker, leaning on a plastic shovel, on a five-inch square of plastic grass. If given a direction order, written on a peice of ‘official stationery’, it will enact those orders to the best of it’s abilities, including summoning up additional figures. Notably, they can not build anything, nor render it operable. However, they can with a high degree of efficiency, utterly f**k something up beyond recognition, provided one is willing to wait approximately 10 times longer than normal. But, they don’t complain, and never take a break.

9.) Will Sleep For Sex: this hand-printed cardboard sign, if held for approximately one hour at a busy intersection, facing traffic, will result in a good night’s sleep, after one hell of a good night’s bed-frame-slamming good time. One, however, must be willing to hold the sign, regardless of how much abuse is heaped in one’s direction. To the desperate, it may save a life.

10.) PDA: a small unknown-make of palmtop computer, with the logo of a swirling tornado with a neon-red heart in the center, it is unassuming in all respects, save that all text typed into it always reads the operator’s name, and the words, “loves Joanie Mason”. To the operator, it’s eerie, but to Joanie Mason, it’s a new True Love. And now she knows where you are.

If only she could dig her way out of the Mississippi River bed coffin she was thrown in, in 1892.