Ever looked close at a headline, and saw something.. other than what was written?

Sometimes, the news is almost the whole truth, I have felt. Not like a conspiracy, just a lack of a coherent vocabulary to define the experience. Taking a look at the headlines from the perspective of a Duke GMC, or PC cabal, and you’ll find some interesting plans in the works. Not the whole picture, but an odd assortment of events.

In Santa Monica, an elderly driver took out 8 people, and injured 35 more.
Add: … due to the advent of an significant blast against one of the eight people, using the elderly driver as the foci. Do not anger an Urbanomancer.

A fourth dog was reported dead Tuesday morning as Portland police launched an investigation into poisonings of dogs that visited Laurelhurst Park between July 3 and 9.
Add: … Annihilimancers have started targetting dog owners. After all, a pet counts as a valued possession, right? The closer you are to the dog, the bigger the charge. The bigger the charge, the higher the stakes…

Homeless man faces prison after setting fire to shelter
Add: a Sterno, again. Possibly connected? If you nuke what’s left of a derelict’s possessions, he’s out his whole life, and if you take out the shelter, then he’s out most of his options. What Sterno could pass that up? Unless, of course, he’s still not a nutty bastard.

Police seek man who stole car during test drive
Add: … an Entropomancer, racking up a charge. C’mon. Laugh. It’s funny.

A complex financing scheme is under study to raise $21.6 million to save the historic armory in the Pearl District’s five-block Brewery Blocks project.
Add: … Cliomancers’ cabal, working it’s best to keep a historic site to themselves. After all, they can kick you off the property, if it’s not an ‘official historic site’, but a theater group, right? Clever, clever.

This is just in a ten minute look at the local paper. If one were to do so, for each group’s newspaper-of-note, we’d never run out of storylines, again. And, if we shared this, no one would have to use their own group’s newspaper — we could draw from international, interstate, or intra-city sources. It’d be more of a trick for GM’s to use, but it’d be an option for us all, I’d imagine.

Just a closer look at your headlines, and you’ll see it to. Then again, on Ketamine and Prozac, the truth of the cosmos can be revealed in an episode of Power Rangers, in theory. Your milage may vary.

Mr Unlucky