Lets hope this dude is just nuts.
Calm down. I know this seems frightening, but its all for the common good. You see, we need to stop the end of the world.
Have you ever wondered about history? I ain’t a cliomancer, but its always struck me as somewhat unusual that Europe was able to rise to world dominance. I mean, the cultural paradigms of Islam, of China and India, were just if not more powerful. And it ain’t for some ridiculous economic reasons either. I knew it had to be magickal.
So I dug around. And I managed to find something. Do you know that every major bank and financial institution can be traced and connected back to Spanish gold coming from the Americas? I realized I was on to something.
The Aztecs, Incas, Maya, Pueblos, all of them. Civilizations crushed. Imagination to upset to local magickal conditions! They pillaged more than gold, those conquistadors. They had galleons filled with Amerindian mojo bound for Madrid!
There’s a problem, though. All this is starting to backfire on Europe now. Ever wondered about the World Wars? What a better sacrifice to the gods than to scour the lands and raise pyramids of bodies to the sky? Oh, and the soccer hooligans. They watch the games, but deep inside they want more, they want the blood of the losing team to run, but that doesn’t happen so they go nuts.
All this postmodernism is weakening old European culture and magick, but there’s something lurking underneath. And its rising slowly. I hear Jacques Chirac keeps an obsidian blade in his shoe.
The problem, you see, lies with a date. December 27, 2012. Yeah, the one at the end of the X-files. It’s the end of the Mayan calendar. Thats when it’ll emerge. The captured mojos of a thousand dead peoples will rise from below. Flower wars of sacrifice will erupt across the European continent, Barclays Bank and the Bank of France will transform into massive step pyramids, and the Queen of England will transform into a she-jaguar goddess!
And so thats why you have to die, my sweet. We’re anarchists, and recognise the brave new world that will emerge when the old paradigm falls and a new world of revelling and killing begins. We will burn your virgin heart over a sacred flame, and the Earth will drink your blood. Think of it as an honour.
For the coming of Quetzocoatl is almost upon us.
i believe it was the aztecs that killed off the mayans, not the spanish. i would like to add the arawaks who columbus nearly exterminated in his conquest for gold. this is a very cool idea, by the way.
So the Aztecs stole it from the mayans.
So what? Just one more link in the mojo food chain.
Of course, the reason the Europeans even got the chance to do this is because of another bright yellow metal: bronze. Europeans figured out how to make it, Amerindians didn’t.
Then again, I hear there’s this one guy…hiding out in some ruins in the Yucatan… claims he’s related to one of those old Jaguar Warriors, not to mention being a direct male-line descendant of Ghengis Khan. He’s gonna go back in time and establish trade routes up and down the Mississippi, and teach the Aztecs how to make bronze axes, and then get China and Easter Island on speaking terms so the Orient will get used to sailing out of sight of land.
He knows the cosmos disapproves of time travel, but he seems pretty confident he’s found a loophole big enough to squeeze through with body, soul and mind mostly intact. In fact, he’s taking passengers…
Very nice, man! I like the idea a lot.