Bless the children. It *might* even help…

Diary found at the scene of Horowitz family residence, near the decapitated remains of one ‘Mink Mawson’, a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. The whereabouts of the family in whose home she was discovered has yet to be determined.

Contents read as follows:

“Sometimes, my dad goes out at night. He works in an office, and does taxes for rich people. He also uses his cellphone alot. Sometimes, he’s really mad, and he goes to the backyard, and beats himself inna head with a shovel or a rake or something. Comes inside, and he’s all bloody under his hat, and he says stuff which makes Mom take me to my aunt Rose’s house for a week.

When we come back, sometimes, the furniture is gone, or this one time, we had two sick guys staying in the garage, cause Mom wouldn’t let them come inside.

She said they were sleeping. I saw one of the guy’s, and he was bleeding alot from his nose and eyes.

Mom says that was something bad he’d eaten.

Mom is smart, and does real good selling old houses.

She can’t lie, though. Daddy did something, and she can’t ever lie to him, or me, or anyone again. Ever.

When she lies, sometimes, she cries blood, too.

Daddy said she had it coming, ’cause she’s been really bad, and will have to go to the House of the Re-Nun-See-Nation, or something.

I don’t want a nun for a mommy. They dress in black, and Daddy says they talk funny, and that God is dead.

Daddy is a real good taxes guy.

Daddy doesn’t know I talk to God, though.

God looks like the girl across the street who gots kidnapped last summer, and she tells me tonight, when daddy goes to bed, I’m supposed to pull down the funny tape dad has on his bedroom door, and to say some funny words.

God says it’ll make it all better.

I want them to be happy, and to not argue about a guy named Duke, and make it so I can go outside and play again, and the mailbox won’t growl when daddy comes home late. I want my aunt Rose to be like a real person, instead of dressing up like the famous dead lady with the white dress. Something Monrow, I think.

My family is weird.

But, tomorrow, God is going to give me a puppy.

Once I do the rich-ee-wall. Then, a nun will take mommy and daddy away, and it’ll all be OK again.

God is pretty.”
Included is a rather distressing picture of the late kidnap/murder victim Ashley Pond, wearing a white robe.

We have reason to suspect a great many possible parties are involved. Awaiting further instructions.

And yes, we do want fries with that intel.