The Golden Cross of the Eastern Emperor
Ever wondered what it is about Afghanistan? Alexander the Great tried his luck there. The Tang Chinese and the Arabs fought over it. The Portugeuse and Italians thought they could find something better in Ethiopia, but thats wogs for you. The British and Russians both wanted it in their Great Game. The Soviets tried to take it. Pakistan was its best friend, for awhile anyway. And now Uncle Sam is there.
All right, you know those Buddha statues that the Taliban blew up? Well there’s an Otherspace there. It used to be behind one of them, but when they blew them up it got a bit out of hand, and now the Otherspace sort-of fades in and out all over the place. In Afghanistan, though now its free it occassionally spills over into Tajikstan, Kazakhstan and Wisconsin.
What’s on the other side? Why, Prester John’s kingdom.
The land on the other side is about the size of Africa, but it has a weird shape. On one side there is a huge sea thats made of graVel and sand, which moves like the sea. I hear that if you drown in that sea, they’ll find your corpse inside one of those cement mixing machines, somewhere in the world. Anyway, no one knows whats on the other side cause ships sink on it and flying machines never return. On the other side there is a huge plain filled with demon trees that disappear at night. There’s weird horned cannibal people that live there, its crazy.
Anyway, the people in Prester John’s land vary in appearance from vaguely African to Indian, and they’re all Christian. Well, they carry big gold crosses around, so they must be Christian. Anyway, there’s all these massive cities on the other side, filled with riches. They have some sort of feudalistic system, and it all acts like a medieval kingdom. There’s lights and telephones and guns and everything, but it feels and looks like some place from the Middle Ages.
Anyway, everyone wants to get Prester John on their side, because his armies never lose in warfare. No ones been able to convince him thus far. Supposedly Colin Powell is trying to convince him to ally with the US against China. But Prester John has always has good relations with the true ruler of China, the Great Khan in Tibet. So thats not going to happen.
How do I know this? I was born there, man. My mother was a Prester-John and my father was a Russian spy. I took some scuba gear and dived into the Gravel Sea, then crawled out of that wet cement on the sidewalk across the street. I’m gonna see if I can go the other way. You wanna come?
Prester John’s country was decidedly placed somewhere near, oddly enough, Tibet. The first world map to include America shows this (dating to 1507), with a unique admonition on it:
“This is the land of the good King and lord, known as Prester John, lord of all Eastern and Southern India, lord of all the kings of India, in whose mountains are found all kinds of precious stones. Here there be monsters most dire.”
But, this is as far as my research has led me to believe. But, as stated, belief is a tricky thing.
One line does stand out; the last one. Normally, adding ‘here there be monsters’ would be enough to disuade people from taking on their own courses through otherwise unsafe/pirate-filled/Church-owned/etc waterways and territories.. its the addition of the line ‘.. most dire’ which most intrigues me.
My version of Prester John’s kingdom is mostly inspired John Mandeville’s version of it in his Travels though I am aware other versions of it exist with greater accuracy. I’m tempted to do things with the Transpondane and Antarctic Stars too.
I justify these sort of Other Spaces as the footprints left behind by long-deceased global unconsciousness’es. Like their beliefs that have been preserved in dusty scholastic tomes, artefacts of the physical excrement of their majick-fueld worldviews are still clinging to life.
As long as we’re on the topic of lost kingdoms in Afghanistan, has anyone here seen The Man Who Would Be King?
Much weirdness and Masonic imagery.
Now that I think about it, the title sounds kind of like some obscure Archetype.