Lose something?

In the area behind the counter at the Portland PDX Western Airlines desk. A cardboard box, with jackets, coats, and …

1.) Shiny Black Keyring. When affixed to one’s belt with the convinient D-ring, the following events occur in succession: a complete and utter sense one left the car running (Self-8 check to avoid checking it), a sense of losing one’s money (Helplessness-7), and a feeling the body in the suitcase is probably screaming your address (Unnatural-9). It works once, and takes only ten seconds to enact each effect, thirty seconds between effects. Great at parties.

2.) Rubber Snake. In all appearances, it is a fake snake. When thrown, it momentarily becomes real, long enough to evoke images of a horrendous bite; make a Soul check, resisted by the opponent thrown at. Loser makes a Self-3 check, to remember they’re not afraid of snakes. On a critical failure, a phobia has arisen from the loser. On a critical success, it’s just impressive.

3.) CD in a red jewel case. When played in a CD player or laptop, it is simply the music to Hanson’s ‘Mmm-Bop’, and all that entails. When plugged into a PC or DVD player, it is now the plans for the shuttle Columbia, with the addition of a pair of clawed arms at the tail, with tungsten-mithral tips.

4.) Rave Bunny. A t-shirt with a rather upsettingly sexual interpretation of a rabbit on the front, slightly faded from use. The motto written below the buxom bunny says simply, “Smoke Nut: It’s Hurting My Brain — I Can’t Report It!” The back has the address of the nearest living relative of the wearer, in Spanish.

5.) Dinty Moore. A foot-tall can of Dinty Moore beef stew, with the logo of the meat inside replaced with a smiling old man’s face. On the side of the can, oddly, are instructions for the cooking and cleaning of an emu.

6.) Spray Paint. A can of Krylon Black, with glittering lettering on the side, indicating the words for ‘window’ in nine languages (French, German, Italian, Spanish, Norwegian, Japanese, Hebrew, Pima, Greek). When sprayed on a plain wall of brick or similar material, it renders it clear as glass, but just as fragile.

7.) Survival Guide. A small, unassuming pamphlet, describing the requirements to survive the following: nuclear winter, the walking dead, assault from midgets with hatchets, and the sudden loss of both elbows. Complete with detailed, upsetting pictures!

8.) Mechanical Pencil. A standard-issue mechanical pencil,if slightly over-complex, it has no lead (takes .05 type). When filled, it then begins writing on it’s own, as if finishing a manuscript. The topic: finding a mechanical pencil, just before finding out the previous owner was stabbed in the eye by a self-writing mechanical pencil.

9.) Stingball Grenade. To all recording media, and all non-aware minds (Soul stat being less than 70), it appears to be a Beanie Baby, with it’s name written on the belly — Painie Baby. When the pin is pulled from it, three seconds later, 16 25mm. rubber balls eject from the sides of the cannister, inducing large welts and moderate damage. Damage is as per firearms, with a three-yard burst radius. Damage is equal to the Soul stat of the thrower, divided by 2.

10.) Bloody Syringe. A syrette-style syringe, it should only work for one shot; instead, it is filled with curare, inducing a living coma. When stabbed with it (Damage +3), it forces a Body check, -5% shift. If failed, it locks the body into a coma-like state, but the mind is aware, and feels the pain. Lasts for 8 hours, minus three minutes per pound of body weight over one hundred and twenty four. It refills after every use, with a week of downtime between uses.

Gosh. Isn’t it fun to check out the lost and found?