Just Shake and Bake…

The way you make facts is you shake em up in this
here Pan-American Airlines barf bag, take some raw information, pour it out on the table and what do you have? TRUTH! At least as its presented to us by our fun-loving technocrats. So how about some truth, huh? –
Jello Biafra

This ritual actually works. All you need to do is get a barf bag (yes, it does have to be a PAA one), and fill it with information. Shredded up, raw information. These facts must be as base and unbiased as possible. Phone books, technical readouts, reports by impartial boards of inquiry, that sort of thing. The information has to be pure, as completely removed from the possibility of bias or spin as possible. Tabloids, editorials, most books are all big no-nos.

Then shake. While you shake, you have to ask a question. Questions with a direct yes/no answer are not advised, the ritual doesn’t seem to like those and often won’t work. You have to ask a nice, convoluted, complicated and multi-faceted question.

Now expend two significant charges, and empty the bag onto a table.

A puff of smoke, a whiff of ice in the air, and there before you is a one page report typed in double-spaced Times New Roman font and black ink (the ink, if tested, will turn out to contain traces of moon dust). This report has been written by the Chronicler, and it answers your question as best it can, being absolutely true. On the other hand, the Chronicler will try and screw around with the facts as best he can, in order to encourage you to respond in certain ways that the Invisible College wants you to. This is limited, however, as they cannot lie, and they have to answer the question

Seems like a good deal? Theres a catch. The moment you get this report, the nearest House of Renunciation gets a report on you. I’d be watching those doors if I were you…