It ain’t Pakistan, I know that much for certain…

You see, when he saw the full might of the US military bearing down on him, he realized that if he stood and fought, he would get his ass kicked. Even advanced geurilla tactics wouldn’t be good enough.

So, while all his buddies were running for the border, he undertook a dificult and mind-bendingly dangerous ritual (left behind, like so many things useful to the desperate, by retreating Russians) to transport himself physically into the collective unconscious.

This state is not to be confused with Ascension; at the conclusion of the ritual, your mind and soul remain as a kind of demon-like entity, and your body (apparently) just ceases to exist. The useful part is, as long as you have powerful enemies, you’re indestructible. Their rancor powers your existence.

Naturally, for someone who just pissed off the most powerful nation in the world, this is a good thing.

Oddly enough, it also means that the war in Iraq and the widespread delusion that Saddam was behind 9/11 are probably the most effective means at the current administration’s disposal of combating Osama.

One other thing: if someone makes an electronic recording of someone you’re posessing, it plays back with your appearance and the victim’s voice. So, if you want confirmation, just get copies of those videotapes he made, pre- and post-invasion, and see if the voiceprints match. That’s why all the American news stations cut out the sound when they showed clips of the tapes.