Snippets of conversation from that creepy dive bar on Walnut Street.

-There’s a problem with the city zoo. Remember when Lucky Eddie tried to charge up by playing around in the reptile house? And how messy it was to clean up? Well, apparently one of the gators died yesterday and nobody can find the corpse. I’d chalk it up to cannibalism with the other lizards, but a cop went into a Dunkin Donuts on the other side of town for a cuppa joe and when he came back out his bike was chewed up to hell and back.

-Word is some damned fool tried to anchor a demon into a ring. Kind of like the original story of Alladin. Too bad he was dumb enough to put it on.

-You know what tenembrae are, right? Well, there’s supposed to be a counterpart to em. Natural enemies or something. They’re called Luminbrae and they look like glow-in-the-dark hamsters. They make great pets, except the only thing they want to eat is human liver.

-John the Pawn is coming around in a few weeks. If you need something risky done, he’s your man. But don’t light any safety matches while he’s around. Look, just trust me. You don’t want to know what happens.

-Seems there’s a bronze imprint that the pawn shop downstairs just got. They say if you attach it to your door just like a door knocker and it’s like the Portal Glyph. It’ll work all day as long as you feed the thing whole fingernails in the morning.

-The Cruel Ones are mentioned obliquely in all of Earth’s Major religions, but if you want to be a lot more prepared for the afterlife, read the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It’s the difference between getting hints and step-by-step instructions.

-Guy came in here the other night, says that there’s an automaton over in Indiana with an eye made from a liquor bottle, filled with some dead woman’s ghost trapped in the vodka. Nobody knows who made it. Or her. Or whatever. All anyone knows is that she’s allegedly killed thirteen horses and lopped off the hooves. What the heck for, that’s what I want to know.

-If you pay a Plutomancer one hundred dollars entirely in Canadian Pennies while within the borders of the United States, his next spell will backfire no matter what.

-There’s supposed to be one HELL of an Otherspace accessed in the old asylum on Reputation Road. You know, the makeout spot/drag race place. They say it only showed up last week. And that one skinner dude’s been walking around with an eyepatch for about that long. You tell those damned kids not to go slinging spells near crazy people, but do they listen? Nooooo.