Wyoming isn’t even there. It’s just a big hole.

There’s a car wash somewhere in Iowa that, if you order the special wash of the day and leave a $2 bill as a tip, will remove all minor dents, dings and scratches from your car. The bill has to have a prime serial number.

The platypus, while usually thought of as natures joke, is actually a magickally evolved form of the beaver.

If you think it’ll be funny to throw things at the old woman diving in the dumpster behind the Dairy Queen… well, it won’t. Trust me.

Dinosaurs don’t exist because they were all eaten. What has that big of a mouth? Just ask the asteriod, it’s still around.

Jimmy Hoffa knew what happened to Amelia Erhardt and wanted to go public with it. His body is stored as evidence somewhere in England. Yep, the Sleepers whacked him.

Punk is dead, although there are a bunch of drunken ‘dipsomancers’ with tight pants trying to bring it back around.

If you hit an old, decrepit Hassidic Jew in the left eye with a peashooter during a Blue, Harvest moon, the next birth in the world with be of Siamese twins.