Inspired to balance out an excellent submission from Tedpro

Nothing is worse than just leaving a mess unattended. It grates on you. Makes you wash your hands like Lady Macbeth or adopt the social habits of Howard Hughes. Not to worry, there’s a school of Magic that feels your pain. The Cleaners.

They do windows, do floors, do toxic waste dumps, and even take out the really dirty people as well….

Now, how to get busy and clean up that mess….

Nicknames: Trashmen, Janitors, Hard A–es

Generate a Minor Charge: Make someone else clean up a mess or stop a polluting behavior they had no intention of doing before through brute, physical or mental coercion. You can outsmart them, intimidate them or just flat-out beat them like they stole something. In your mind, they did steal something and they have to fix it or pay.

Generate a Significant Charge: Whack, as in kill, someone who’s doing dirty things, physically or morally, or take down a major source of corruption or physical pollution. This can be done for God, country, abstract philosophical principal or, as is often the case, The Soprano Family.

Generate A Major Charge: Personally bring about the overthrow of a corrupt government or the bankruptcy of a polluting or corrupt corporation.

Taboo: All Cleaners have a strict set of rules that enable them to lead a clean life. These rules form the characters’ taboo. Sonny “The Teacher” Mordano can whack six or seven people for breakfast, but each one of them had better be a threat to the family, or else he’ll lose all his charges for participating in a dirty shoot.

Rule Sets will vary, depending on what an individual Cleaner thinks of as dirty, but any ‘dirty’ act will nuke all of the charges that a particular Cleaner has built up over time.

Random Domain: Cleanliness. Will vary, depending upon what a particular Cleaner thinks of as dirty.

Symbolic Tension: Cleaners have to obliterate all signs of filth by whatever means possible. They can’t accept any thing gotten from dirty means and constantly live in a sense of guilt and are forever seeking expiation for their own dirty secrets and lies. Also, the Cleaner has to be constantly near this disgusting filth if he ever wants to, charge up, err, I mean, clean up the problem.

Blast: The blast for a cleaner involves the target of their cleaning getting nailed by some very powerful, and abrasive, corrosive or otherwise devastating cleaning solution. Typical slang names for this include, Quicklime Enema, The Doctor Fibes Acid Test, STB bath, and Sand Blast.

Charging Tips: Work near a place of great dirt or corruption (Charge Opportunities). Try not to make your Taboo Code too suicidal or incompatible with daily life. Develop excellent verbal chess skills or mental intimidation skills. You can only break so many heads before you wind up in the can. Get a good conduct to reveal this corruption to. That way, concrete action gets taken and you get your charges.

Starting Charges: 4 Minor, 1 Siggy.

Minor Prestidigitation:

Lady Macbeth:
1 Minor Charge.
If the caster knows a person has done something ‘dirty’ or ‘corrupt’, the caster can make that person spend the next 48 hours compulsively manifesting their guilt. This manifestation cannot directly harm the intended victim, but it will make them really stand out and appear odd to those who know that person. The manifestation should occur at least 5 or 6 times over the period and should involve at least three people seeing it who know the target well.

Undelete:
1 Minor Charge.
If , The Cleaner knows of a specific document or computer file or other record that has been destroyed to cover up a dirty deed, The Cleaner can sit down at a media transcription device and recreate the document from memory. To make this work, The Cleaner must know 3 things. She/he must know the author, the exact nature of the work and which specific incident of corruption or dirtiness it pertains to.

Sand Blast:
2 Minor Charges.
The Cleaner minor blast. Range 25’. Damage is typical for minor blasts. Physical manifestations involve minor burns, scrapes, cuts and bruises all over exposed skin of blast victim.

Come Clean, Jelly Bean:
3 Minor Charges.
The Cleaner commits an act of physical or psychological torture against the spell victim to trigger this spell. That person then must tell the Cleaner the absolute, honest truth for the next two hours, no matter what consequences accrue to the truth teller. This is the weaker version of the spell, and will not counteract amnesia attacks, or unearth memories that are older than six months or buried in the subconscious on account of mental trauma or insanity.

I Wash My Hands Of It:
3 Minor Charges.
This incantation allows The Cleaner to purge a failed hardening role up to Level 3, simply by washing his hands with a bar of soap. Successful checks are not impacted by this spell.

Foolproof Audit:
4 Minor Charges.
This spell allows the Cleaner to audit any document of up to 250 pages and find any logical inconsistency, grammatical error, malapropism, misrepresentation or outright lie anywhere in the document. It will detect whether the document is plagiarized or whether it is a forgery. It will mark the error or falsehood in striking fashion, so it’s smart to have a good copy handy. It will only work on the original copy.

Significant Conjurations:

Take Your Medicine:
1 Significant Charges.
This spell allows the Cleaner to change one aspect of another person’s behavior that The Cleaner really doesn’t like. The behavior in question has to violate the Cleaner’s code of laws to make the spell work. The Cleaner has to successfully, convince, dupe or flat out force the victim to ingest a laxative through one of their bodily cavities.

The spell victim will spend the next 24 hours violently defecating once every 2 hours. After that ends the, the victim will be 6-10 pounds lighter, and temporarily short 5 points in each of his four (48 hours max). Most importantly, the spell victim will never indulge in that particular behavior as long as he/she remains living.

“Don’t Get High On Your Own Supply”:
1 Significant Charge.
If the Cleaner knows 100% for sure that a member of his family, country, church or other organization is somehow embezzling or robbing, but doesn’t know who’s doing it, this spell will tell the caster who is doing the deed and give him somewhat cryptic clues as to how it’s being done.

Quicklime Enema:
2 Significant Charges.
The harder stuff. This is how a Trashman really takes out the garbage. Major blast damage. Range out to 100’. The physical manifestations involve painful, oozy acid burns inside and out of the victim’s body. One victim who actually survived Sonny Mordano described this spell as “being Freddie Krugered.”

John The Baptist:
2 Significant Charges.
This spell enables the Cleaner to cleanse another person of failed self-checks up to 6 levels. It will not effect successful checks. Cleaners think of these as a badge of honor.

Ferran Martinez:
3 Significant Charges.
This spell was invented by a member of The New Inquisition and named in honor of a leading figure in the old one. It works like “Come Clean, Jelly Bean”, but it’s much more thorough. The torture victim needs to lose 25% of his damage capacity or require at least a Level 2 self-check as a result of the physical or mental torture inflicted by The Cleaner to activate the spell.

The victim then spends the next twenty four hours revealing every thought, deed, or neural impulse she/he ever had. All memories are recited from the victim’s first childhood down to the moment The Cleaner started up the torture.

The Cleaner needs a recording device of some sort to get this all down. The victim will start talking and not stop until the whole life story is recited. This spell overpowers psychological defenses, amnesia, brainwashing and even insanity. The recital will occur in chronological order and will not bear any more or less relevance to what The Cleaner wants to know than that.

Major Magical Effects: Something on the scale of Cleaning up Lake Erie or making The Ozone Hole disappear one Winter. If Ken Lay wrote all the people who lost a bundle on Enron personal checks to indemnify their losses, this would be a Cleaner at work. Or maybe, if that guy Mugabe just took a really quiet dirt nap….