For the Mechanomancer on the go.

Those who have played Thief 2: The Metal Age will recognize some of these machines. This is because those machines are so creepy — and yet so funny — that they are ideal UA fodder.

1. The Watcher

Minor Clockwork Security Device

Body 25

Speed 30

Trigger Alarm When Strangers Enter 45%

Cost: 5 Minor Charges (60 Starting Points + 40 Extra Points)

Watchers are almost always shaped like faces, or at least heads. They can be mounted on floors, embedded in walls, or suspended from ceilings; the latter usually gives the best visual range. Most versions are totally deaf, relying entirely on their visual senses to detect intruders. When they spot intruders, the responses range from ringing of bells, playing of horns, or the repetition of a phrase (“Hey! HEY! There’s somebody in here! Hey! HEY! There’s somebody in here!”) recorded on a wax cylinder.

A problem arises if security needs to allow more than one person into a restricted area. Either the complexity of the watcher can be improved to Significant, so it can handle multiple tasks, or a number of “parasite” clockworks can be built and installed in the main Watcher. Each parasite would look out for a specific person; if they identify him, they suppress the Watcher’s alarm components, say by pushing gears out of alignment. If these smaller clockworks fail, and that’s not unlikely, then whoever had that particular suppressor clockwork built is going to be in trouble.

A watcher can run for one hour per point of Body, after which the spring will need to be rewound.

2. Turrets

Minor Stationary Defensive Clockwork

Body: 25

Speed: 35

Spit Objects at Intruders 50%

Cost: 8 Minor Charges

Turrets, also called Sentries, are not as perceptive as Watchers. On the other hand, they are much, much more dangerous. They resemble heads, much as the Watchers do. When they detect people, they swivel towards them and launch something out of their mouths.

Depending on the taste of the clockworker who made the Turret, this could range from nails to saw blades to fragmentation grenades to doorknobs. The launching mechanism is entirely spring-loaded, and so if the person being attacked can avoid enough of the projectiles, she will find that the clockwork has run itself down ahead of schedule.

Turrets have as much energy as they do points in Body. Every hour of normal operation (waiting for targets) costs one point of energy, and every attack made against a target costs one point of energy. If the clockwork runs out of ammo before it runs out of energy, it will waste energy trying to shoot ammo it doesn’t have. That’s minor-level clockworking for you.

3. Mobile Turrets.

Arachnid-Looking Patrol Clockworks

Mobile Turrets, or Spiderbots, are actually two seperate clockworks bolted together to work as a team.

Mobile Platform

Body 30

Speed 40

Follow Intruders 30

Cost: 5 Minor Charges

The other clockwork is a Turret described above. While the Mobile Turret USUALLY provides adequate defensive power for its size and cost, there are a few drawbacks. First and foremost, these two clockworks are totally seperate and cannot communicate with each other. If the Turret sees a target and begins attacking, but the Platform does not, the whole mechanical mish-mash will just walk on by on its patrol route, making it harder for the Turret to get a good shot at a target.

In the same vein, if the Turret runs out of ammo, the Platform will not be a threat to any intruders. It may prove to be a nuisance by following people around, but it will not be actively harmful. The Platform can run down leaving the turret in one spot of limited range and visibility, etc, etc. That’s the price for putting economics over performance.

4. Explosive Decoy

Cheap, Expendable Distraction Clockwork

Body 5

Speed 15

Hop Around and Explode 40%

Cost: 1 Minor Charge

At first these small clockworks look like steel softballs. When thrown, however, the metal plates come off and what looks like a tripedal frog will start hopping around. There is no rhyme or reason to this hop; it is chosen randomly by the oscillations of a small pendelum with free sway in every direction (this lack of pre-determined gearing makes it vulnerable to influence from Bodybags and the Invisible Clergy) and the hop lasts for about one minute. Once the spring runs down, a tension bar is released and snaps flint and steel together, igniting and detonating an explosive substance built into and around the clockwork.

Depending on the substance, the exploding decoy could do anywhere from one die of damage to firearms style damage. Since a couple of them can be churned out in a week, and they often sell for $100-300 American, this is a good way for a clockworker to afford the parts and time for larger projects, as long as the decoys don’t blow up the user or creator.

5. Gaydar

Mechanical Sexual Orientation Meter

There are two known designs for this clockwork. The first is made by taking the shell of a police radar gun and filling it with the appropriate clockwork mechanisms. (According to some, Mercury Thermometers are absolutely essential for such detecting machinery; Your Mileage May Vary.) The readout on the device shows either a positive or negative reading when determinging if the target is attracted to the same sex. This is the most common and has the advantage of working quickly, within a few seconds.

The other design is a feature built into a multifunction pocket watch. When the correct stud on the outside is pressed, the watch hands reset to zero. Using the appropriate dials, the minute hand is pointed at the target. The hour hand will then pick a number between 1 and 12, 1 being totally straight and 12 being Jack-on-‘Will-and-Grace’-flaming-homosexual. The advantage of the second function is its precision compared to a simple yes or no. It is, however, slower that the yes/no design.

A typical Gaydar Gun is as follows:

Body 10

Speed 20

Determine Sexual Preference 50%

Cost: 3 Minor Charges

Note: For reasons not yet understood, these machines malfunction when used on avatars of the Mystic Hermaphrodite. Some have been known to explode. (The clockworks, not the avatars.) Also, with the possible exception of a few Western Cryptomancers, almost nobody in the Occult Underground has a practical use for these things, so they’re uncommon. Those dukes who have such clockworks guard them jealously on the off-chance that they may need them in the future, just like any other clockwork.