Something every duke should have.

(Disclaimer: Based on an Enigmatic Device from Steamband. I make no claims of originality here.)

These devices were originally made by Mechanomancer Charles Eddington in Virginia, until he died from complications during heart surgery. Not so much magickal artifacts as sets of clockworks and mundane materials, Charles made these based on what he remembered of his own experiences with the occult underground.

From the outside, the bandoliers are unassuming, except that they have special compartments resembling Batman’s Utility Belt. Hence the name. Charles’ original devices all hold the following, in some order or another.

1. Road Flares. Useful for distraction, illumination, signalling, or warding off tenembrae.

2. A flask of whiskey. Even if you’re not a boozehound, sometimes a shot of liquid courage is necessary.

3. Auto-Nurse. This small clockwork is shaped like a spider with a ridiculous white paint job made to imitate a nurse’s uniform. The ends of its legs are gripping devices and minor medical tools. It will attempt to treat any minor injuries it sees once it’s let out of its compartment, including those of the owner’s enemies; bandaging cuts and administering painkillers is basically its limit. It can also carry only so many bandages and drugs, and may run out in the middle of the fight. It’s stats are: Body 10, Speed 40, First Aid 30%. It cannot defend itself if attacked. Must be wound up after every five attempts to treat an injury. Use only as prescribed. May cause headaches and Stress Checks.

4. Skeleton Key. Not the artifact, but a sort of clockwork pick gun built to the specifications of most pin and disc tumbler locks. Stats are: Body 5, Speed 15, Locksmithing 40%. Must be wound up every five minutes.

5. Ambush-Be-Gone. This may have been a good idea in Charles’ head, but in practice it’s not always useful. This clockwork is basically a proximity Alarm. If anyone comes within ten feet of the wearer of the bandolier, it sets off a bell like an old telephone. This might be useful in some cases, but overall, it’s a pain-in-the-ass. First, the ABG can’t tell the difference between friend and enemy, so it’s just dead weight when people are working together on something. Secondly, if the person approaching the user doesn’t know he’s there, then the ringing bell will certainly tip him off. Thirdly, even when you need that kind of heads up, you have to wind the damn thing like every five minutes. Most owners just take out the ABG and use that compartment to store extra ammo or chewing gum — you know, something useful. Its stats are: Body 5%, Speed 5%, Ring Bells When Other People Are Near 50%.

6. Antivenin Capsules and Ipecac. In case the owner gets poisoned somehow. Always be prepared.

7. Slinky From Hell. This is a peculiar attack clockwork that resembles an insect. When released, it leaps out of its compartment, latches onto the target, sinks its “stinger” — usually a large drill bit — into the target, and then rebounds back into its compartment. The entire clockwork is connected to the bandolier by a twenty foot spring. It doesn’t require much winding, but if the large connecting spring is severed, the clockwork is useless until repaired. Its stats are: Body 10, Speed 60, Attack 40%.

8. Trail Mix. Each bandolier comes with some health food of questionable safety (expired ten years ago!). Owners usually get rid of it and replace it with another type of food, or more ammo.

9. Magick Detector. This little gizmo acts up in the presence of unnatural objects. That is to say, artifacts. It ignores all other types of magick. You could set off a major charge right under its nose — it has a nose, a brass one — and it wouldn’t make a peep. To use it, a suspected artifact is held under the brass nose to let the clockwork “sniff” for the unnatural. The process can take a while, usually up to ten minutes. If there’s magick afoot, bells will ring. Its stats: Body 5, Speed 5, Sound Bells When Magick Artifact Is Detected 50%

10. Go-Go-Gadget Arm! This is a clockwork built for the express purpose of disarming people from a distance. It’s a mechanical hand mounted on a spring, like the Slinky From Hell. If aimed in the general direction of a weapon and released, it will launch towards the weapon and make minor adjustments to grab it in the air, then retract and drop the weapon in front of the user. Of course, if there is no weapon in that direction, the machine won’t even come out, so it can’t be used as a weapon (Go-Go-Gadget-Knuckle-Sandwich!) if the Slinky From Hell is damaged. It will also only grab weapons from the hands of people, not from holsters or on the ground. The Smart users let the knives fall where they may and grab the guns as they’re dropped, especially if the other guy made a big show of turning the safety off. The Arm’s stats are: Body 15, Speed 45%, Disarm People 40%.

Altogether, the Bandoliers are handy, low-powered Swiss Army Knives for the Underground. Useful in a wide range of emergencies, but certainly not a secret weapon or ace in the hole by any standard. The original ones went for about $300 – $600 American, sometimes less. When Charles died, the price rose by about two hundred dollars, as there was a limited supply. Knock-offs are often cheaper, but rarely have as many features; they are also not built as sturdy and may fall apart at a bad time.

There’s word that some clockworker chick took the Bandolier Idea and gave it an overhaul; turned it into a backpack-armored-vest-harness type thing. It allegedly lets her jump great distances, protects her automatically in firefights, and enhances her bustline (but you didn’t hear that from me). She doesn’t seem interested in making any more to sell, though. Good freaking luck getting it away from her if you want it.