That stuff will kill you …

Rituals are not my area of expertise, but I had this idea a while ago and I think it could work with some refinement.

Cost: 1-2 significant + 0-10 minor

Preparation: Get ready for some serious surveillance time. First, pick your target. Follow him into a fast-food restaurant and pay close attention to what he orders, which cash register he orders from, who’s at the register, and where he sits. Also note the day of the week, the date, the time he enters, the time he starts eating, the time he finishes, and the time he leaves. Here’s the tricky part- the target MUST put some condiments on his food, like ketchup or mustard or something. If he doesn’t, there’s no way this can work. Bring a recording device of some kind and have it on the whole time. Also, take a picture of him while there is food in his mouth. This can be digital or with a film camera- it doesn’t matter.

Ritual Action: Now comes the dangerous part. You have to make yourself into a proxy and poison yourself. Make sure you haven’t eaten anything in a while. Write your target’s name on your stomach in something you can wash off quickly. Bring the picture of your target, a picture of yourself of similar size, a stapler, and a pencil. Enter the restaurant at the exact time as your target did, on the same day of the week, and start playing back the sounds you recorded through earphones. Order the same food from the same register, sit at the same place. Put on the same condiments as the target did, and once that’s done, put the poison of your choice on the food. It’s recommended you choose something tasteless, but apparently arsenic tends to make the ritual work easier. Start and finish eating at the same time your target did, then hurry into the bathroom and regurgitate the posioned meal into the toilet bowl. Take out the picture you took and staple it to the picture of yourself at all four corners, picture-sides together and making sure your faces overlap. Write a motto of the fast food restaurant you’re in on both sides (i.e: “I’m thinkin’ Arby’s,” or whatever). Poke a hole through the faces with your pencil (Tricky, I know, because you can’t see them now, but hey, magic is tough. It’s a good idea to mark out where the faces are beforehand.), drop both together into the toilet, and flush the whole mess down. While it’s going down, wipe the target’s name off your belly. If you’ve done everything right, that poison will end up in your target’s stomach the next time he eats something. At this point, your time as proxy has ended and you can do what you like. Since you just barfed up the first food you’ve eaten in a while, you might want to get something to eat, unless you think someone’s trying to use this ritual on you.

Cost Reduction: There are some things that can reduce the cost of this ritual. If you’ve returned on a day that’s not just the same day of the week, but the same day of the month (i.e: He ate on Wedneday, January 10th and you’re here on Wednesday, March 10th, or something), that’ll drop the cost by 5 minor charges. If it’s the same person at the register, that’s another minor charge off. If any repeat customers are there, same deal; 1 less minor charge. If the weather outside is similar, there’s another one. If the guy actually WENT to the bathroom while he was there, and you do your dirty business in the same toilet as he did his, that’s 2 minor charges off. Talk to the GM about other similarities that might drop you some charges. If you’re patient enough that you wait a full year, that’s one less significant charge you need to pay, and it doesn’t have to be the same day of the week, just the same day of the year. Of course, you’re not likely to get many of the other discounts, and the place might be remodeled or even gone. If you do some math and wait a few years until you can do it on ANOTHER Wednesday, January 10th, the cosmos just might give you this one free, or for a minor charge or two.

Cautions: This ritual is takes some serious premeditation and planning, so cross your Ts and dot your Is. You may have to watch your target a couple of times before they order something they want condiments on, and he might get suspicious. Plus, if he habitually eats there, he might be in at the same time you’re there to do the deed, sitting at the place you need to sit at and everything. And whatever you do, do NOT screw up your AMs and PMs. Not only will the poison stay in you, but it will also poison your target’s greatest enemy instead.

–The Detective–