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Audit-Proofing

Never pay income taxes again.

Cost: Eight minor charges.
Ritual Action: Take a $10 bill and write the full text of the 16th amendment to the US Constitution on it. Wrap the bill around the pre-printed label from your federal income tax return. Burn them with a match from a matchbox or matchbook decorated with a dollar sign; the dollar sign must be original to the box or book, not added by the ritualist. Save the ashes.
Now, take a pot or other container suitable for growing a small plant in. On the outside of the pot, write the full text of the 5th amendment to the US Constitution. Line the inside with pages from the book The Law That Never Was; you need to use all the pages in this way. Layering pages over each other is fine. Fill the pot with soil mixed with the saved ashes. Plant a jade plant in the pot, and water it regularly.
Effect: For the next year, so long as the jade plant is alive and is your legal property, you will not be audited by the IRS, even if you pay no federal taxes at all (note that you still have to pay state and local taxes). The ritual can be renewed each year by repeating the first half of the ritual, spending another eight minor charges, and mixing the resulting ashes in the pot.
Note: Money saved by not having to pay taxes does not grant extra charges to Plutomancers-you cannot spend mojo to make mojo.

One thought on “Audit-Proofing

  1. Moko says:

    Hmm…. I like this one. What happens if the plant dies after 4/15? Will the IRS suddenly realize they need to audit the Adept?

    Hmmmm… I smell shenanigans afoot…

    Reply

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