Ever wonder why there is occasionally all this garbage about killer bees infiltrating America and killing people?

Ok I heard this from a friend of mine who spent a few years doing a surf documentary in Nicuargua…

You know how you always hear about these killer bees coming up and taking over our normal, piss-you-off-in-a-controllable-way bees we have in North America? Well its more then some nerd biologists thesis, its a plot by a well established cabel of leftist South American government officers to kill capitalist pigs up North. They keep trying to spring these things up in our communities and kill a bunch of people except theres something holding them back.

Burt.

You ever seen that shit called ‘burt’s bees’? Its some kind of skin product marketed by an old hippie dude. ‘Cept the thing is he is one of the baddest ass dukes we got in the good ‘ol red, white and blue. Yeah hes on our side and it seems as long as like one person within about 500 miles is wearing one of his products killer bees can’t do shit. Some kinda crazy magic hormone tells the hive to fuck off.

Those attacks you occasionally hear off? Seems no one in that area was wearing skin cream and those lefties dropped a batch of killers…

Oh and why haven’t those commies done in ‘ol Burt? Well lets just say Burt has his one bees that do what he says and surround his property in rural new mexico. It sounds messed but I heard his bees are the fucking size of pitbulls man!