A useful bit of insurance for dukes in a hurry.
This ritual requires;
One plush monkey,
At least $50 in monopoly money,
Three joker cards,
A car air freshener, preferably the sort that look like little pine trees,
A scented candle in the same scent as the air freshener,
A stapler,
Heavy-duty needle, thread and scissors.
Arrange the hand of monopoly money so that one joker is in the center, and staple this onto the monkey’s right hand. The joker should be facing the monkey, when its arm is held out. Next, take the remaining two jokers, and sandwich the air freshener between them. You’ll want to have both facing inwards, towards each other. Seal this sandwich together by lifting a card, drizzling hot wax from the scented candle onto the air freshener, firmly replacing the card, and repeating this on the other side. Cut a slit in the monkey’s back, insert this, and sew the slit up as neatly as you can. Following this, cut yourself just enough to bleed a little. Smear this blood across the monkey’s muzzle, before cutting an opening anywhere in the center of your back seat. Stuff the monkey in, sew it up, and clean up. The ritual is set, and only needs to be triggered.
The next time you are pulled over, a monkey will climb out of the back seat, and approach the officer with a wad of legitimate cash equal in value to the amount of monopoly money used. Although you—or a blood relative—must be driving in order for the monkey to appear when the vehicle is pulled over, others can be included by adding their blood during that step of the ritual.
There is no expiration date on the effects of the ritual until it’s been activated. Once it has, it can be reset by stapling a new joker and more monopoly money to the same monkey’s hand, and an application of fresh blood.
Wow! This is truly inspired.
Thank you! :3 You’ve made my night.
HOw much magic (how many charges) does this take? I am thinking a minimum of 1 sig per $100 in the monkey’s hand
That doesn’t sound too unreasonable. Maybe three minors if it’s under $100—one for each joker.
I dunno, I think an obvious plush toy climbing out of the back seat would be at least a Rank 3 Unnatural challenge, no matter how much money it offered–not a good thing if you’re trying to keep a lid on a stressful situation.
But still pretty cool.
Oh, it’s a real live monkey when it appears. 😀
I guess I would have a hard time turning down a bribe from a monkey that suddenly appears and then disappears. I suppose you could also add something that makes it more likely the cop will accept the bribe and etc. Maybe cause guilt in him afterwards, but he can’t remember why (monkey on his back) or cause him to slip closer to being a corrupt cop.
BUT the idea of a ritual that just does something that is weird and, on paper, an ok idea… dig it.
And with monopoly money, you can really up the amount. If you’re open to being bribed at all, having a monkey offer you $800 in fifties for an $85 speeding ticket…