There’s a sort of Magick in /b/, an magick of eccentricity and disgust.. Anyone could be an anonomancer… ANYBODY…
Yet another take on Memetic Magick
Blast: The Anonymancer’s Blast involves “Chargin'” and “Firin'” his lazer, which requires him to be wearing Blackface and scream “SHOOP DA WHOOP!” as loud as he can, as a blast of energy erupt from his mouth.
CHARGES
Minor: Browsing and Posting on a single ‘chan site for 6 or more hours, getting banned (any reason)
Signifigant : Posting in a Legendary Thread or GET, becoming a mod
Major: Having one of your ‘chan related misadventures or jokes make local or national news, or posessing an item related to a non-adept’s japes.
Taboo: they cannot “Misappropriate” memes, or use them for their own personal gain, and must browse a “Chan-site” at least once a week
Paradox: Anonymous hates, or claims to hate many things. Yet many people are anonymous, and many of those who anonymous hates take up the mantle of anonymous and do shit in his name. The ‘chans have been fractured since /b/-day. And yet, there is a great sense of brotherhood (for there are no girls on the interbutt) amongst those who post as anonymous regardless of the hate they would otherwise feel for each other. They are United as one, and Divided by zero.
Minor Spells –
DESU DESU DESU – By shouting the phrase “Desu!” repeatedely, the anonymancer thwarts any attempt at performing a mental task.
Shoop Da Whoop – Minor Blast, The Anonomancer must be wearing Blackface and red lipstick, while he stands with his mouth open, “Charging his Lazer” for the round, and unleashing a blast of plasma from his mouth at his target on the next.
Pool’s Closed – Prevents targets from entering a location that the anonymancer is dancing in place outside of while wearing a suit and afro wig.
Frosted Butts – A spell cast to interrupt an extended ritual or other series of related actions that would be called a “combo”
EPIC FAIL – Causes an opponent’s spell attempt to fail dramatically
Anonymous is Legion – Makes the Caster utterely Forgettable unless he does something stupid or violent
I JUST LOST THE GAME – Fuck you.
Significant Spells –
Yiff in Hell, Furfag – Signifigant Blast, triggered when the target next wears a fursuit. The unfortunate Fursuiter begins masturbating furiously while shouting “YIFF YIFF YIFF” and bursting into flames
4chan Party Van – Target finds himself in trouble with a law enforcement agency of some sort (usually the FBI) for suspicion of involvement with child pornography
NO U – Reflects a spell back at it’s caster
Anonymous does Not Forgive – Like Anonymous is Legion, but even horrible violent acts can be commited and gotten away with.
Become An Hero – Causes the victim to experience deep feelings of loss and suicidal tendencies the next time an electronic device is stolen from them
Major Spells –
Major Spells relate to how the charge is generated, allowing the prank or misadventure to become reality. For Example, Jake Brahm had a charge that would allow them to mess with football, but lost his charge after being banned from the internet.
Pickwick, originally from TOTSE but made famous by 4chan and ED’s “tipoff” to Flordia Police, became famous for huffing his own shit-gas (which he claimed was just flower, water, and nutella). That bottle could hold a major anonymancy charge.
What it could be used for? Well, that’s up to you…
A few anonymancers have developed an interest in the Hadron collider, believing that they could use it to “divide by zero.” others simply refer to it as the “Hardon Collider”
Needs work. Given my experience regarding /b/tards in the wild, Shoop da Woop shouldn’t require the blackface (though it is traditional) only “acting black” shortly before the blast. Also, Tits or GTFO should be a spell.
Fucking. Yes.
Random Magic Domain Every Repost is a Repost Repost. There is no original content on /b/. Everything comes from somewhere else. As such, an anonymancer’s “Random magic” is limited to other adept’s effects that he has seen within the last week. This is similar to Book burn, except that it has the drawbacks of random magic.
I need to decide what I JUST LOST THE GAME or Tits or GTFO would actually do, and I’m working on what charges the various effects would cost.
It would be nice if we were allowed to edit our submissions rather than having to re-submit every time we had a revision ready.
Moar crap I wish I had put in whin i submitted this:
There’s a sort of Magick in /b/, an magick of eccentricity and disgust.. Anyone could be an anonomancer… ANYBODY… and unlike other adept schools, they actually tend to LIKE each other, when they actually encounter each other. Like “organized” schools, they will typically work together towards some sort of goal if they find one or one finds them. But they seem to have no real agenda, no overriding goal, and no real organization.
Some Anonymancers like to claim that /b/ is an Idea, not just a website, and that the ability to speak without responsibility, at least on the internet, is too strong an idea to kill. But as has been seen recentley, 4chan can be DDoSed, and the legion scattered. The anonymancers claim that as /b/ is being constantly reborn, it will always exist in one form or another.
In fact, it was during this time that they emerged into the occult underground’s field of view, conducting an ‘epic raid’ that ended with the destruction (or raep) of the Cult of the Aquatic Ape Womyn and the Knights of the Aryan Shield.
This destructive tendency had the Sleepers worried, until they learned of the Anonymancers dedication to keeping themselves just outside of the public’s view. Now they’re relieved but still somewhat scared, so they said “your moving with your auntie and uncle to bel air.”
aka “Legion,” “/m/agicians,” or, in the words of one Goonologist; “oh jesus fucking christ, you mean those freaks have magic now?”
Effect costs:
DESU DESU DESU – 1 minor
Shoop da Whoop, Pool’s Closed, and Frosted Butts – 2 minor
EPIC FAIL and Anonymous is Legion – 3 minor
I JUST LOST THE GAME – 4 minor
Become an Hero – 1 significant
Yiff in hell furfag, NO U, and Anonymous does not forgive – 2 significant
4chan Party Van – 3 significant
What you’ve heard:
Anonymancy, like it’s forebearer, Goonology or bastard offspring, YTMNDurgy, was once a minor school. However, a series of incidences and/or the intercession of a faceless member of the invisible clergy have transformed Anonymancy into a major school. This could be part of why Goonologists look down their noses at them. Then again, Goonologists look down their noses at almost everybody.
Anonymancy is a hoax. It’s existance was made up by the perverse shapeshifting adepts known as “Yiffomancers” in order to attempt to create drama. The fact that these adepts have occasionally been seen to burst into flames when donning their enchanted fursuits is merely a result of improper use of their own magicks.