Just listen to the disembodied head of Albert Einstein!

The only reason that Mother Teresa never became the Godwalker of the Mother was that she never bore any actual children.

Some may say that Bill Gates is the Godwalker of the Merchant, but he’s not; he’s actually in an active power struggle over the position with Warren Buffett.

Barack Obama is channeling The True King; that’s not why he’s winning the primaries, though.

Hillary Clinton is not the clone of Bill Clinton; Hillary is Bill. Why do you think that she didn’t care about him cheating on her?

George W Bush is channeling the Demagogue, but he has no chance of becoming the Godwalker; he’s too inarticulate.

Ron Paul is the Devil. No, seriously. I mean it.

Nikola Tesla didn’t die penniless and alone; his creations were so complex, and his mechanomancy so advanced, that he ascended to the invisible clergy about ten years before his “death”, and left behind an advanced clockwork version of himself. After a decade of operation, the clockwork deactivated after dispersing Tesla’s fortune to the needy.

You know that girl who lives across the hall who’s a total whore? She’s actually a very powerful Pornomancer in the Cult of the Naked Goddess, and she’s a damn fine lay to boot.

The Dalai Lama is actually, well, a Llama. The monks dropped an L from the name to avoid confusion.

Charles Manson wasn’t crazy – the Beatles’ predictions were just off.

John Wilkes Booth channeled the Avatar of the Executioner when he killed Lincoln; Lee Harvey Oswald channeled the same avatar when he assassinated JFK. Coincidence? Of course not – they were both given their missions by the Johnson family; Andrew for Lincoln, and Lyndon for Kennedy.

There was a theory that if you listen to the Beatles’ songs backwards, they admit that Paul McCartney is dead. The truth of the matter is, Paul is actually dead. They buried him. That’s not an imposter today, though; that’s Paul.